The Christmas Gift
by mackenzie925
Summary: Mac receives interesting gifts on Christmas Eve from the man she loves. But what do they mean?
1. Homecoming

**_TITLE: The Christmas Gift_**

RATING: PG

PAIRING: Harm/Mac

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG

Author's Note: This is a short snippet, or epilogue, after my last story. It can also be read as a separate Christmas story. Harm and Mac have just returned from a difficult time in Arizona, and now are trying to get back to normal. It's short, took me some time to write because of my busy schedule. But I hope you like it! Enjoy!

_**Chapter 1: Homecoming**_

**Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown  
****0800 EST – December 24, 2004**

The smell of sweet cinnamon from a lit candle the night before awoke Harm's senses, his eyes opening to small slits to allow light to seep into his consciousness. Gazing up at the ceiling, he realized instantly he was lying comfortably on his back. Perhaps the first time in weeks he was able to do so. The pain in his muscles there had finally subsided a few days before, allowing him the luxury to sleep in almost any position he wished. _Almost. _Maybe his back didn't hurt, but the ache in his legs quickly reminded him of the days of pain he endured two weeks prior.

And it had taken him almost the full two weeks to feel normal again.

Yet here he lay, despite his small advances, staring up at the ceiling with no place to go. Smirking slightly, returning to JAG was still a week away. "_After New Year's_," he was told by the doctor. It would give him not only time to heal enough to return, but also give him time for adjustment. In all honesty, he became too accustomed to these numerous days off. The first few days were spent in a hospital bed resting. Soon his strength rose enough to walk around, and by the next week he was passing his time at home, in Mac's apartment, under her careful supervision.

And many of those days, Mac stayed with him. He remembered feeling her presence in the hospital, through his various realms of consciousness. She took days off to help him at home, to take care of him, to make it easier for him. In fact, Harm would venture to suggest that without her, the process of returning to normality would have been much more difficult. Without her love, he wouldn't feel the sudden urge to get up and go to work, and to make the transition complete.

Though his mind was ready, his body still was not. The mere idea of such a move and his muscles would begin to ache again. The ribs he bruised during his captivity were beginning to heal well, though they promptly left behind days of stiffness and fatigue. In a week, he knew, his body would catch up with him. He would be ready.

Today, however, was Christmas Eve. His body would just have to deal with his intentions of arriving in time to the Christmas Eve party at Bud and Harriet's, of going into work today to speak with the new JAG, and spending the night in Mac's arms.

His head swiveled to his right to look out the window full of white, the snow coming down gently but continuously. After hearing the weather reports the night before, he intended on spending most of the day with Mac. And that was before she informed him she needed to go to work a few hours the next day to finish up cases she neglected during her days off the previous two weeks. Sooner of later, their work couldn't be ignored any further.

However, her missing presence made him grimace. Today of all days he wanted to spend with her. And spend it in this bed, with no interruptions.

"Hey, you're finally awake," came a soft voice, his eyes darting from the window to the beautiful woman stepping into the room and coming towards him. She wore her winter running gear, which consisted of sweatpants, a sweatshirt with the Marine Corp label stitched on the front, a shirt underneath, and gloves. Since they'd been going out, and Harm wasn't even sure why Mac did this, as her first layer she liked to steal his old Naval Academy t-shirt he wore often in his first year as a midshipman.

Of course, it wasn't really stealing, especially when he would give Mac whatever she wished. But she never asked him if she could use it, and acted like it was this huge secret that she used it at all. He knew Mac liked to keep her reasoning and actions of her strange behavior a secret. Such actions only made Mac more irresistible, and Harm couldn't help but play along, pretend he had no clue of what she was doing.

Smiling, Harm folded his hands on his stomach, as he replied lightly, "You forgot to wake me up to run." Just the thought made his muscles tingle with phantom pain. Running with Mac again was still a ways off, a sacrifice Harm didn't like giving up.

Mac only smirked before sitting down next to him on the bed, removing her gloves, and tracing her hand across his shoulder and down to his arm, and finally settling to his side, a spot that gave him considerable pain in the beginning of his recovery. And for the first time since he came home, he didn't squint with pain at her soft touch.

Gazing into her eyes for that split second, Harm remembered the fear in her eyes when she stared down at him on the desert floor in Arizona. Looking back, he really didn't have a good recollection of what really happened. And he didn't realize the events became so dangerous and happened so quickly. Not only did it happen much faster than he remembered, but Mac, though seemingly unaffected when she ran to him, did get grazed by one of the flying bullets the man shot towards her. The fact that she made it through the explosions, which were discovered later to be inaccurate grenades, was an amazing feat. The medi-vac didn't come nearly as quickly as he remembered, either, and later Mac informed him a half-hour passed before they were rescued from the ground.

Problems arose on the ground for the Army Rangers creating the perimeter, and one of their men also needed assistance from the medi-vac after suffering a gunshot from the terrorists hiding in various places around the rock formation. This new section of the terrorists hiding on the ground, unfortunately, the Army intelligence did not know about or plan on, making the situation a little more difficult for the Rangers than first suspected.

Because the medi-vac picked up the injured Ranger first before arriving at Harm and Mac's location, there was only room for one more. And Mac gladly gave up her ride to the more seriously injured Ranger and Harm, and insisted she would join the Army Rangers at the perimeter to assist them.

By the end of the day, Mac had not only saved Harm, but also was a huge help to the Rangers stationed on ground support. All accomplished while suffering from an injury.

Yet Mac still didn't talk much of what happened, not only because Marines didn't brag about their accomplishments in the field, as she insisted, but also because her quick actions saved Harm. She came close to losing him for good. And she just didn't like to discuss it.

"I'll have to make it up to you," Mac whispered. She leaned over him slightly, took his hand with her other hand, and kissed him on the cheek. "Feeling any better?"

Harm nodded, his right hand moving to her upper arm, to the spot grazed by the bullet two weeks ago. "How about you?"

Mac shrugged. "Barely any pain. Though Bud is trying to do all of my errands for me." Actually, a lot of healing took place during the past week, and not all of it was physical. Much of it was deeper than either expected.

Harm smiled, the picture of his good friend reaching the front of his mind. Bud would do just about anything for both of them, and his actions were to be expected after he heard Mac suffered from an injury, though small.

He then kissed her hand and whispered, "I wish you were staying home with me today."

Mac moved her hand from his right side to his cheek, caressing it. "Me, too. But I promised the Major General I would help him today," she whispered gently. When Mac left JAG to save Harm, Admiral Krennick was the JAG, and had been for the past eight months. When she returned with Harm, Major General Cresswell was in the position, the circumstances of which remained secretive. Only rumors could explain, from Krennick getting caught in illegal action to her need for a quick retirement for personal reasons. Either way, Major General Cresswell was quickly inserted into the position.

And the thought caused Mac's stomach to turn. Working under the command of the same man who served as JAG officer during her involvement with John Farrow only brought back everything she tried so desperately to bury. She got away with her actions then, and Farrow took most of the heat. And she was certain Cresswell intended on making her time at JAG difficult because of that.

Harm knew of her difficulties concerning the General. They talked quite a bit concerning the situation years ago, a moment in Mac's life that she was clearly not proud of whatsoever. He tried to reassure her that the General might not even remember the incident, let alone make it an issue in a professional, military working space. Yet Mac still worried. And because of that, wanting to keep her mind off of the JAG, Harm squeezed her hand and whispered playfully, "Sure you can't spare a few minutes?"

Mac smiled, an urgency building the moment he spoke those words. During the past few weeks, the thought of being with him crossed her mind a dozen times a day. Yet she knew he was still too ill, and his recovery was much more important than any personal needs she might have. And though she could truly think of nothing better to do with her time at the moment, her presence was needed at JAG. And Harm she didn't think was quite strong enough for anything too physical yet. "Maybe you should save your strength for the party tonight," she shot back lightly with a smile.

Harm merely shrugged, saying with a mock surrender, "Fine. I have some errands to run today anyway."

"Errands?" Mac asked, unable to hide her curiosity, as she leaned forward a little further, her face only inches his now. "What kind of errands?" As far as Mac knew, the only place Harm needed to go was the Christmas party that night. Under his condition, going anywhere else seemed unlikely and difficult.

Harm smiled knowingly, happy to have gotten her attention, and happy to know their bantering never subsided. Sitting up slightly, he kissed her softly on the lips before responding in a whisper, "Wouldn't you like to know."

Mac smirked, knowing full well what Harm was attempting to do here. He knew what buttons to push, when to push them, and knew exactly how she would react. Such knowledge was dangerous, and at the moment Mac decided not to take the bait. "I don't have time for this, Commander," she said coolly, beginning to stand up.

"Oh yeah?" Harm muttered, and quickly grabbed her and pulled her in the bed next to him, settling his weight on top to trap her in.

Mac laughed lightly and wrapped her arms around to his back playfully, rightfully surprised by his actions considering his recent condition. Obviously his strength was returning, and the thought caused Mac to smile in spite of herself. _This would be a wonderful Christmas_. Staring up into the amused, handsome face, she felt her face grow quickly warm, happy, excited, and full of anticipation of the days to come. "Where did that come from?" she asked, in a much huskier voice than she wished. She still did have to get to work.

"I've been saving it just for you," Harm responded with a smile, his arms pulling her tighter against him. "And I'll only let you go if you promise I'll have you all to myself tonight."

Mac reached a hand up to his face, caressed it, and whispered, "Deal."

_Somehow she knew tonight would be like no other._

**1400 EST  
JAG Headquarters  
****Falls Church, VA**

Mac returned from her meeting with a client, her mind leaping between the party tonight, Harm, and the case she was currently working on. So much seemed to require her attention today, and the last place she wanted to be right now was at JAG, working on a case, and riding the General's current moods. As she exited the conference room, entered the hallway, and soon entered an elevator, she instantly sensed the haste of those around her. The only reason anyone came into work today was to wrap up cases and tasks before Christmas. No one wanted to worry about an issue at work during Christmas dinner, and Mac's reasoning aligned with that very thought.

But she also promised the General her help considering her numerous days off recently. Helping not only keep her on his good side, but also effectively hid her relationship with Harm for another day, week, or month. The General had no reason to suspect her absences because they invariably paralleled that of the Commander's days off, only assuming she needed the same amount of rest and down time after surviving such an incident in Arizona.

An incident that, as the General informed her this morning, caught the attention of many in Washington. Her heroism made her suddenly famous, her bravery the subject at the JAG water cooler. Actually, the attention made her blush a deep red, only because she felt it unnecessary. If asked, she would quickly admit her actions were that of a Marine on a mission; a Marine willing to sacrifice all; a Marine following the code by leaving no man behind.

Sighing deeply, Mac held her briefcase in one hand and many different files in the other, watching the lights on the panel in the elevator flicker as each floor passed them by. And if she didn't know any better, her presence caused many to look her way, as if surprised to see her, like seeing a celebrity, despite the many times they saw her before Arizona even occurred. She couldn't count the people who shook her hand, said thank you, and expressed their amazement the moment she officially returned to JAG a week before.

And at the moment, feeling every eye on her, all Mac thought of was Harm. _I wonder what he's doing right now, _Mac thought, remembering the many errands he needed to run today. Yet her attempt to imagine herself in another place and another time was futile.

The elevator door soon opened, the light of escape causing Mac to smile, glad to be out of the watchful eye of her colleagues. It was mid afternoon, and she still had to look over close to ten more cases before she could call it day. And that didn't include the numerous tasks the General gave her, which included aimless paperwork that she didn't remember having before the new JAG arrived. When he heard she was the Chief of Staff at JAG Headquarters, he quickly doubled her workload by giving her responsibilities of a "senior officer" on staff. And with her previous engagement in Arizona, she had an even deeper responsibility to "set an example" for those below her.

Yet Mac had a feeling this new workload involved the General's personal contempt for her because of previous events ages ago. Perhaps his own way of punishment.

The bullpen was decorated in Christmas décor, the tree off to one side, along with silver tinsel outlining the perimeter of the office. Just stepping in the space caused Mac's mood to lighten a bit, and she nearly forgot about Arizona, Harm's injuries, and the General. In fact, all she concentrated on was the Christmas party that night, sharing her first Christmas with Harm, and celebrating the holiday and year with her friends.

Mac quickly moved to her office and unlocked the door, so deep in thought she neglected to sense Coates' presence instantly beside her.

"Ma'am," Coates addressed.

Mac turned quickly to see Coates holding a gift, wrapped in gold paper and a red bow. She smiled warmly, and answered, "Hey Coates. Is that for me?"

Coates nodded, smirked slightly and stepped a bit closer, whispering, "It came by messenger. I tried to slip it into your office but it was locked."

Honestly, Mac was a little hesitant to take the gift, worried what might be inside as well as who may have sent it. Certainly she immediately considered Harm, knowing very well he was capable of something like this. However, considering her recent excursions in Arizona, she hoped to God it wasn't a disgruntled, angry terrorist wanting revenge or something.

_I am very paranoid today, _Mac grimaced. _First the General, now this._

Debating the contents of the gift outside of her office holding files that were only getting heavier by the minute wasn't solving anything. With a sigh, Mac pushed her office door open and walked in, followed closely by the Petty Officer. If she was right and it was a gift from Harm, then it may be prudent to open the gift alone. Ultimately, considering the holiday season, considering how close they came to dying, and considering the lack of real alone time with each other, because of unconsciousness and fatigue, it was safe to assume Harm might be trying to change that.

God knows Mac was becoming a little restless – helpless even. And she knew Harm needed to talk about what happened, but was either too scared, too tired, or unwilling to bring up the entire time of his captivity in conversation, in fear of upsetting her or himself. For the moment, it seemed both were only trying to catch their breath, gather their footing, and get back to their lives.

"How was court, ma'am?" Coates asked, aware of the sudden silence. Stepping next to her superior officer once again, it was clear the Colonel didn't hear her question. "Ma'am?"

Mac gazed up at the Petty Officer, as if from a dream, with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Jennifer. Was there anything else you needed?"

Coates smirked and immediately sensed her time in the Colonel's presence had come to a close. "No, ma'am. That was it," she began, walking toward the door. "I'll see you at the party tonight then."

Mac nodded and turned to her. "Count on it."

And instantly, she was alone.

The door was soon closed and Mac found herself at her desk, staring at the gift as if afraid to open it. It's packaging, if nothing else, made it quite appealing. And though the scare that the package may contain something harmful or frightening did exist, all evidence suggested it came directly from the man of her dreams. Yet how could she forget the last time Harm made a romantic gesture, one in which hurt him, sent her to Iraq, and him, eventually into the dangerous custody of domestic terrorists?

She could still feel the wind whipping around her, the sound of the ready to leave airplane just yards away, and Harm whispering, "marry me" into her ear.

Though she did want to marry him, the situation, the idea, and the scene still frightened her. As if she was unwilling to take on the unknown, despite how wonderful it could be. The fear that it could turn into something horrible pushed her away from the 'yes' answer she wanted to give, as well as the believe he asked with the wrong intentions weeks ago. If he asked again, his intentions would be correct. Yet her fear wouldn't leave.

_I've lost so many people I've loved … whenever I get close … can I bare to lose him, too?_

The only answer was to open the gift, her curiosity urging her to leap into this particular unknown. Outwardly the box was much too big to hold a ring, so he probably wasn't asking her to marry him at the moment. _But one can never tell with this sailor,_ Mac mused with a sweet smile. All possible reasons set aside, Harm liked to treat her, liked to make her happy. Liked to show her how much he loved her. Though she has received gifts like this from many of her boyfriends before Harm, known of them gave with the same intentions. They gave to stay in her good graces, perhaps even to keep her in their bed. Harm gave just because she was Mac. Because she was Sarah.

With that last thought floating across her mind, Mac ripped the bow off and the paper soon followed. With the paper gone, she quickly removed the top of the shirt box to reveal the one present she did not expect. Yet all she could do was smile, the urge to run to her car, drive to her apartment, and kiss Harm warming her heart like nothing else could. Because before her was the evidence to how well the man in her life knew her, and how well he paid attention, and how well he loved her.

"U.S. Naval Academy," Mac murmured, her fingers tracing over the worn stitching, her mind intoxicated with Harm's face, his life, his past stories. The reasons she wore his old t-shirt she kept to herself. Such things were best left to dwell in her heart, with no other explanation save that of a small smile.

Though Harm may not know why she felt as she did, he understood. He accepted it. _And I love him for it._

Mac pulled the t-shirt out of the box and set it in her lap, the cotton underneath her fingertips full of comfort and nostalgia. Harm told her the stories of his time as a naval aviator, his memories of the academy, and instantly those painted images floated in her mind. As her eyes drifted past the t-shirt to the box, intoxicated once again with everything Harm, she caught the sight of a small card hiding underneath the tissue paper.

A small smile crossed her lips, and instantly she felt Harm may be laying it on pretty thick. Which, Mac remembered with a mischievous grin, he did often, as well. She lifted it out of the box, noticed the words on one side, and read the small message.

And if she wasn't touched by Harm's romantic gesture before, these words ensured Mac felt nothing else.

**_What's mine is yours._**

**Parking Lot  
JAG Headquarters  
****1930 EST**

Mac walked quickly out of JAG Headquarters, the cold, Christmas Eve air biting at her face. After letting most of the JAG staff go a few hours before, the General kept her and a few others behind to finish up the last bit of work. As a result, she would be extremely late for the Christmas Eve party. And she was only reminded of her personal contempt for the General, because of reasons just like this. In light of today's endless work, Mac found it difficult not to assume he was making it very personal.

Yet deep her gut she knew Harm was probably right. Though she sometimes hated to admit it, concerning the General he was talking sense that Mac chose to ignore before this. What happened between her and John Farrow years before only mattered to Mac's life, and was only a small window of time for Cresswell. He probably didn't even remember the incident.

Sighing, Mac switched gears and began to think of the gift, now nestled comfortably in the crook of her arm as she arrived at her corvette. His gesture was certainly sweet, and Mac knew how lucky she was to find someone like Harm to love. And, of course, that worked both ways.

Harm has given her gifts before, but for some reason, this recent one felt a bit personal … as if no one else could have given this to her. No one else would've known how important that t-shirt was to her.

Opening the driver side door, she slipped inside and was about to set her briefcase and gift on the passenger seat, only to be met with another box wrapped in the same gold paper. All Mac could do was smile, trying to remember the last time a man showered her with gifts like this. Maybe Mic? Maybe. At the end, Clay did, though he certainly didn't choose the gifts himself.

On the other hand, Harm … well, it was clear he put careful thought in the last one. And it was safe to assume whatever lay inside the beautiful wrapped box in front of her would carry the same importance.

After setting her briefcase and the first gift on the floor of the passenger side, she began to unwrap the second gift. This time the box was square, a bit taller, and a bit heavier than the last. Though she successfully removed the gold wrapping paper, nothing on the outside of the box hinted to its contents. Grimacing, Mac dug deeper by removing the top of the box, only to gaze inside to see tissue paper covering the hidden treasure. Whatever lay inside was certainly fragile, and Mac noticed the obvious contrast between the two gifts. Reaching inside, she carefully lifted the object through the tissue paper, and could only smile.

_A music box, _Mac observed.

The box itself was circular, and on top decorated with two figurines dancing closely together. Mac searched carefully for the switch to turn the music on, her eyes noticing the detailed carving and careful precision that suggested it was handcrafted, perhaps specially made. That conclusion only made her smile wider. And soon enough her fingers crossed over the switch, and she turned it over.

In seconds a soft, quiet tune began to play across the cold chill of the car. Because there were no words, it took Mac a few minutes to recognize the tune. And in doing so, her smile increased, unable to forget how this song has recently been the theme to her relationship with Harm. Though she didn't realize Harm felt the same way since they never talked about it before.

The tune certainly felt like a lullaby, quieting Mac's nerves concerning the General, JAG, and almost losing Harm for good. Of course Elvis Presley sings "Can't Help Falling In Love" much better than the music box, but the meaning behind the words, though unsung, certainly were not lost. As Mac opened her eyes, not realizing she had closed them, she watched as the dancing pair atop the box rotated in a small, circular motion slowly and carefully.

The only sound, save the music, was Mac's breathing; it's crystallized cloud just above her face the only reminder of her current schedule. Sitting in her car listening to a music box was not going to get her to the party any faster. But before she turned her car on and before she bolted out of the parking lot, the song "Carol of the Bells" echoing through her car from the crackling radio, she remembered the last gift had a small card. It didn't take long to find it here, despite the amount of tissue paper, and it looked the same as the last. Small, written on one side, and white.

And though she was initially nervous to read this card, remembering the sweet gesture from the last, again her curiosity refused to let her drive away without reading the words.

**_"I fall in love with you all over again … every day of my life."_**

Onto Chapter 2 ...


	2. If The Fates Allow

_**TITLE: The Christmas Gift**_

RATING: PG

PAIRING: Harm/Mac

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG

Author's Note: This is a short snippet, or epilogue, after my last story. It can also be read as a separate Christmas story. Harm and Mac have just returned from a difficult time in Arizona, and now are trying to get back to normal. It's short, took me some time to write because of my busy schedule. But I hope you like it! Enjoy!

_**Chapter 2: If the Fates Allow**_

**Bud and Harriet's home  
****2030 EST**

The chill was almost unbearable. Unfortunately, because she lived in Washington, Mac's body was used to such extreme temperatures. _Well, _she mused, _most of the time. _The gifts in her hands were hardly heavy, but the cold quickened her movements across the hard, icy sidewalk. Before she had a chance to imagine herself falling helplessly into the snow around her, Mac climbed the few steps onto the porch soon stood outside the door, ringing the bell.

She thought quickly of Harm, hoping he made it to the party okay since she didn't see him at home. They agreed, however, if she didn't make it home in time he would leave without her and meet her there. Since his injuries prevented him from driving to the party by himself, he would be forced to call someone to pick him up. Sturgis became the perfect candidate for such a request since he already knew of their relationship. And there was no need to make up some lame excuse explaining Harm's presence at Mac's apartment, healing from his injuries.

Maybe she did have reasons to be angry in learning Harm revealed their relationship to someone, but she wasn't. In fact, Mac had to admit her own need to tell someone of her relationship with Harm. Especially recently, her heart told her she needed a helpful ear. Considering what may happen, the future approaching them at an ever steady pace, Mac felt the urgency to tell someone, anyone, what was happening in her life.

_Well, not just anyone_, Mac reconsidered quietly… _someone I can trust._

The thought barely finished as the door opened, revealing on the other side a happy, and very pregnant Harriet Roberts. "Ma'am! You finally made it."

Mac smiled and walked in, the warm air quickly draining the red glow from her cheeks. The soft bustle of fellow officers and friends filled her ears, and in the next moment the packages that were held tightly in her hands were gone. As was her coat. "Sorry I'm late," she replied, the switch in scenery invading her senses. For the entire day, Mac either gazed at case files, clients, the General, or the cold night air. In contrast, all she saw in the Roberts' lovely home was tinsel, wreaths, red and green candles, Christmas music from a stereo, and a tall tree sitting comfortably in the far corner of their living room. "Your home looks wonderful, Harriet."

Harriet blushed a little as she escorted Mac into the living room to the right. "I didn't think I would get anything done this year. The kids have been so rambunctious lately. Many days I almost called AJ's Godparents for some assistance," she said hastily, winking slightly at her friend.

Mac nodded, knowing full well how crazy AJ could be at times. "Well, you should've called. I know I could use a brush up course in child-rearing."

"Don't tempt me, ma'am. Because next time I might just take you up on your offer," Harriet warned playfully.

"Did Harm get here okay?" Mac asked in a whisper, her attempt to care but not care too much coming off quite poorly. It was difficult acting ignorant, or uncaring short of love when it came to talking of Harm with friends. And that very thought only supported her inward insistence on telling someone, breaking the silence.

Harriet nodded as she moved towards the kitchen, surprised to see Mac following. "I'm glad to see he's doing so well," she said with a small smile, moving quickly to a plate of cheese and crackers.

Mac concurred quietly, "Me, too." Any other response might give too much away.

"I know Bud's certainly been worried about him," Harriet confided, settling the crackers and cheese in a decorative pattern.

Mac knew their friend worried. In fact, she knew everyone at JAG worried. And though she wanted to reassure them by sharing some of the special knowledge she had of the situation, such a hasty move may threaten the special secrecy. Perhaps that was another reason to believe the time to tell their friends had come. But it was a decision that could not be made now.

To move past the conversation, Mac watched Harriet lift the platter and immediately interceded, "Here, let me take that." _The perfect way to change the subject_, Mac thought.

Harriet smiled warmly, glad to give the job away, though simple, to someone else. For her, nothing was simple in her condition. "Thank you. Just set it in the family room."

Mac nodded and proceeded in that direction. She hoped the next room she ventured in might have Harm inside, sitting in the couch, perhaps standing, initially waiting for her to arrive. Maybe they couldn't stand too close together; maybe they couldn't hold each other's hands, or even look at each other for too long without arising attention for staring. But the idea was still very real.

This was their first Christmas together.

And it promised great things.

However, there were only three other people in the family room, and none of them were Harm. Mac tried to hide her disappoint as she approached Bud, who stood next to the couch, Coates, who sat on the couch, and Bud's brother Mike sitting next to her. What other room could he be in? Bathroom? Maybe visiting AJ up in his room? _Maybe I'm overreacting?_

"Colonel Mackenzie!" Bud greeted enthusiastically, who stepped back a bit to give Mac room to set the platter of cheese and crackers on the coffee table in front of the couch.

Coates recalled with an innocent smile, "We considered sending out Marine Recon to make sure you were okay, ma'am."

Mac smirked, the image of such a situation easing her mood. It was ridiculous, certainly, but it would have taken a Marine Recon force to break her away from the work any sooner.

"What took so long, ma'am?" Bud asked as he took a sip from the drink he nursed the entire night.

Mac sighed gently, aware of her own heart, her own need to vent, even if it may be unprofessional at its core. But there was only one person she even dared to share such feelings with, and he was nowhere in sight. And even though she may have rightful gripes, there was no place for complaints. The General may be difficult, but no less than Chegwidden has been before, or in comparison to any other commanding officer on a carrier or infantry unit.

"The General has given me a little more responsibility. Just some different tasks he feels I should be taking care of," Mac began, strolling over to the comfy chair adjacent to the couch and sitting down, and continued with a small smile, "But I would have preferred some warning before he was suddenly appointed."

Coates shrugged a bit helplessly. "No one received any warning, ma'am. Frankly, I'm surprised with the Navy's haste and secrecy."

"More like the SecNav's haste and secrecy. Trying to cover up whatever Admiral Krennick was involved in," Mac added, convinced the SecNav's name was written all over this appointment and change.

Mac's mind immediately began to wander and only vaguely heard someone respond, her eyes traveling around the room as casually as possible. She couldn't seem to shrug off her worry for Harm, practically ignoring the wonderful decorations on the fireplace, walls, and night stands as she considered the numerous possibilities of where Harm could be. And while she thought of the many ways to break away from this conversation and head to the next room, convinced he must be in there, her mind caught the word she'd been searching for … Commander Rabb.

"He seemed pretty good to me … well, you know, considering," Bud replied quietly. Then he looked to Mac with interest, and asked, "Have you seen him since he's been home?"

Mac almost felt her heart leap with amusement. Hiding the smile that pulled at her lips was the most difficult part, so in need to recognize the irony of the question. Or perhaps the ignorance. Or perhaps how well she and Harm have kept their relationship a secret. And to answer Bud's question with no extra feeling, she tried desperately to forget about all of it for the initial second. "Only once. I brought him soup," Mac admitted. Actually, she did bring him soup. But more than once. "I think he's getting better." And she knew for a fact he was.

"I can't imagine what he went through," Coates replied grimly, rightfully concerned about him. Besides Mac, Coates seemed to worry about Harm the most since he returned from captivity. Just like everyone else she only visited him at the hospital and kept a distance away as he healed comfortably at home. Both Sturgis and Mac unofficially promised to keep an eye on him until he returned to JAG, which inevitably kept visitors away for the time being.

And of course, no one knew the real story.

"Me neither," Bud began, looked to Mac and added, "Good thing you found him in time, ma'am."

The conversation soon entered a realm that Mac became used to recently, one in which included everyone thanking her for her efforts. Of course she was happy, of course she was thrilled her actions saved Harm. But it grew quickly overbearing. And she was careful to sidestep it. "Speaking of finding Harm, I haven't seen him yet."

Bud moved to the platter and chose a piece of cheese before he informed nonchalantly, "He left to get dressed."

"Dressed?" Mac asked, unable to hide her curiosity.

Bud nodded and looked to Mac as if she had lived underneath a rock the last few days because she didn't know. "He's playing Santa Claus. I asked if he would for AJ. Then he came up with the idea of arriving at the party dressed like him to give out the secret Santa gifts." He paused then, quickly noticing Mac's surprise, evidently hearing this piece of information for the first time. Quickly he recovered by suggesting, "Well, it's no big deal. Just some fun, ma'am. Only a few of us know. It's kind of a surprise."

Mac acknowledged this casually, though internally turned a bit annoyed with Harm for not telling her his plans sooner. Why wouldn't he tell her something like this? Or was it supposed to be a secret?

Just as she considered the possible reasons that prevented him from informing her, everyone heard the front door open wide and the familiar chant of a bearded man in a red suit echoed through the house.

Soon everyone was gathered in the living room and watched as Santa carried his bag around the room and unloaded a gift for each person he came to. Immediately Mac recognized the man under the suit to be Harm. His demeanor was too difficult to miss for her. A 6'4" frame, he was always difficult to miss. Mac liked going out with a man who did have a few inches on her, was strong, and attractive. In comparison to the other men she was involved with in the past, from Eddie to Clay, none were the same as Harm. And Mac liked that.

"I think he's a little too tall to be Santa," Sturgis mumbled next to her. So involved in her thoughts, Mac didn't realize she was on the other side of the room next to Sturgis and his fiancé. They stood next to the fireplace that was decorated with stockings, pictures, and garland across the front, and Mac felt strangely nostalgic. Or maybe curious. Gazing at Harm, his red suit and beard almost hiding the man underneath, Mac saw their children, the ones to come, standing at his feet. Saw them in his lap, in the rocking chair, listening to his soft voice recite a treasured bedtime story. Saw one running to their bedroom to feel safe from a thunderstorm, climbing in between them, safe in each other's arms.

_What she saw was perfection._

Crossing her arms, she whispered, "I think he's just right." He was exactly what she was looking for.

Soon enough he stepped up to them, his bag held tightly in his hands. If anything gave Harm's true identity away, it was his eyes. The dark blue could not be missed, a color she would recognize for the rest of her life. The same distinct shade she saw through happiness, sadness, and in the deep night of their love. And the future she envisioned for them only moments before intoxicated her once again, it's air so thick it almost suffocated her.

"Merry Christmas," the fake Santa bellowed, giving a small wink as he handed her the gift nestled in his strong grip. Stripping her gaze from those dark, blue eyes, she looked to the present, it's wrapping distinctly familiar, barely the size of the hand that held it.

Mac was almost afraid to take it, as if handling it may instantly break it. Yet it remained inviting, just as every gift before this. Before this latest act of kindness, Mac believed Harm's intentions matched that of any boyfriend or lover in a relationship. But now the rationalization could not be made so easily. Clearly all of this was much more important.

Now it could be nothing else. Harm had something very special planned for today. For tonight. Perhaps the rest of their lives.

The gift itself distinctly fell under a different category. It was neither heavy nor big. In fact, it was the complete opposite. And for the first time, Harm physically gave her the gift rather than leaving it in a spot where she would find it on her own. And though this initially gave her the opportunity to ask him about it, the public forum in which he gave it did not allow for that.

And the only thing left to do was open it.

As Harm continued his gift giving, Mac ripped the gold paper to reveal a small, felt box. Of course there were obvious conclusions to make by just gazing at it, unopened, but Mac did not allow for shock until she actually saw what lay inside. It could be an engagement ring, the one gift she almost expected to see now, but though the box was small, it was just a tad wider than a normal ring box would be. Seeing this, and considering they were at a party with friends, it was safe to assume this was not what it initially suggested.

Sighing deeply, and taking one last glance at those around her, all of whom were engrossed in their gifts and discussions, Mac carefully lifted the top up.

The colors of tinsel, white lights, and the tree across the way intensified the gold, familiar shape of the object that stared back at her. And above everything else, this was the last thing Mac ever expected to see inside this small box. Her fingers traced its distinct shape and careful, carved precision along its very small frame. It characterized Harm's dreams, as well as her own fantasies. And maybe, for the first time, they were one in the same. For the first time in nine years the desires of her heart matched that of Harm's.

_I was always a sucker for dress whites and … _Mac mused, tightening her hold on them … _gold wings. Harm's gold wings. And no one else's. _

And underneath these gold wings the small note awaited her curious eyes. It would set the meaning to something so unreal, so initially confusing.

**_You're the adventure I've waited my whole life for …_**

Mac was now second place to nothing.

**Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown  
****0140 EST**

After the Christmas party everyone went to the annual Christmas Eve candlelight service, as per tradition. Once the service finished, just like every year, Harm went to the Vietnam wall to stand vigil over his father's name. Though Mac was given special access to that part of his life, she rarely stepped in unless asked. And each year she merely watched as Harm left for his annual conversation with a father he barely knew. A few years back he asked her to join him and she quickly refused. To go would acknowledge her relationship with him as serious, to admit there was more there than either would admit.

This year he didn't ask.

But Mac tried to ignore that, and only remembered his personal need to share that time with his father alone. And how could she forget the many gifts he showered her with today? So many, so meaningful, so much to absorb. In the past Harm was frequently known for saying the wrong thing, or saying it at the wrong time. Now during their relationship he said everything correctly. Said exactly what she needed to hear. And said it with more meaning than anything he said during the eight years before.

The elevator door soon opened and Mac walked down the quiet hall. It was safe to assume everyone in her building was either gone or asleep, which left much of the atmosphere to her thoughts. Within this small world, Mac didn't initially recognize anything strange as she stepped inside her apartment. Only darkness, some twinkle from the tree that stood far off next to the window. Harm insisted on having one, even insisted on buying a real tree, and they decorated it during the small window of time between his return from the carrier and her case in Iraq.

As she considered that memory, it's importance, Mac stepped to a lamp and turned it on.

_Blue._

Everywhere …

In fact, there was no other way to describe it. The lamp itself did not turn on, but stretching along the entire perimeter – on the ceiling, along the walls, the windows, and around the doorways – were dark blue Christmas lights. The room was cascaded in an illusive vision, dreamlike in nature; as if cleansed, or a rebirth. Even the tree gleamed of blue, smaller lights than those around the apartment but still effective.

Mac shrugged her heavy coat off and set it on the couch as her eyes caught a definitive box-shaped, gold-wrapped gift that sat all alone on the bare coffee table. To assume this had nothing to do with the previous three gifts was ignorant. Of course Harm was behind this, behind every gift, every kindness, and every surprise that was to come. And with the dreamy atmosphere all around, all Mac could concentrate on was the unopened gift in front of her.

And just like every other one, she lifted the gift to observe it closer, it's shape the same width as the last, but a bit taller and much boxier. It was then she saw the small white card attached to the bow, the same gesture that previously awaited her eager eyes inside the other presents. This certainly broke the code, and only intensified Mac's need to know exactly what Harm planned for tonight

**_Walk to the tree …_**

Certainly a strange message, but Mac followed the instruction. The soft, blue light cast a warm glow over her hands holding the note tightly as her eyes drifted to the next message just below the first.

**_Now open …_**

Mac smirked slightly, amused with Harm's little game. But she had to play along, especially if she intended on solving the puzzle. Both liked to take control, to urge the other one into games and situations. What Harm planned for tonight, though she could guess, she really didn't know for sure. Her eyes gazed at the tree full of blue lights, ornaments, initially interested mostly in how he ever pulled off something like this. There were days where she did leave Harm alone in the apartment. And who knows what he did or planned when she left for Iraq. But she didn't remember seeing anything like this during her time home. To change the tree lights, as he did, would take some time. Maybe that was one of his errands for today, because Mac must admit her lack of observation when she returned home for those ten minutes to change.

Regardless, it was still sweet.

A sigh crossed over her lips, almost in preparation for what was in the box she held. Perhaps the engagement ring she expected, and perhaps not. Either way, remembering the three gifts before, it was going to be special. Though she loved this attention, loved the showering and intimacy, part of her still remained nervous. And she knew she felt this way with no other man in her life. Harm was the only one to create such nervousness, anticipation, and a flush to her cheeks.

Soon the paper to the gift was gone, the bow pulled off in haste, and once again a very white box met her eager gaze. Mac pulled the top off, and inside, much to her amusement, was a blue ornament. She could barely hold back her wide smile, a kind of giddiness that came with everything he has given her thus far. Carefully she lifted the blue ball from it's box, it's dark pigment matching the same blue that still glowed deeply in the room.

And at first Mac didn't see the white letters printed on the ornament itself. Only when she held it by the hook and let it twirl did she finally see the message etched into the ball itself.

**_Our First Christmas_**

_**2004**_

The light from the stars above sparkled through the window and blended with the those twinkling, blue lights on the tree, so much so that Mac almost forgot exactly where she was save for the warmth of the apartment.

And from the warmth of strong arms suddenly encircling her from behind.

"Something blue," Harm recited gently in her ear.

Then it made sense. Though Mac suspected a marriage proposal in the midst of this overwhelming gift giving, the simple words caught her off guard. She certainly didn't expect it to come the way it came. And yet it did.

And suddenly the gifts fell into the riddle, so obvious now. Why she didn't see it before, Mac could hardly fathom. To let something so clear pass over her head almost shamed her. She was much more intelligent than this. Perhaps given so many gifts in such a strange way completely shut her off from normal, rational thought. Maybe just the thought of Harm asking her, the possibility so true and real, took her mind off of everything else. Then did she recall the gifts, each one in turn …

The **_old _**Naval Academy t-shirt …

The **_new _**music box …

The **_borrowed _**Navy gold wings …

The **_blue _**ornament marking a milestone …

Mac felt a kiss to her neck, just below the turtleneck of her red sweater. Her heart started to beat a bit faster with the new intimacy, and never before did she feel this close to Harm. Or even anybody. Though Mic asked her to marry him, it came so impulsively, in a moment when she was clearly not ready. In a moment when she still brooded over Harm's rejection and searching to rebound. Chris, her first husband by stupidity and alcoholism, came just as impulsively.

With Harm, it came with love. The need to take that next step, to call each other husband and wife too overwhelming.

To have the family they both wanted, to live the life they both wanted. And to do it right, in the love and intimacy that resided deep in their souls. And nothing seemed impulsive about it. Not like at the airfield weeks before, when Mac truly believed Harm was driven by fear.

Maybe there was fear here. Maybe Mac wasn't giving Harm the benefit of the doubt.

_Maybe it was time._

Harm's hand clasped hers as she lifted the ornament to the tree to hang it for everyone to see, and she realized then how perfect their hands were together. How well they fit, and how wonderful it felt. In the next instant she was facing him, his eyes full of promise, devotion, commitment, and love.

Mac noticed now he was still wearing the red coat from his Santa costume, dressed normally otherwise in his shirt and tie. And with a smile, she joked to ease the nerves that rode high, "So you do come on Christmas Eve."

Harm smiled widely in reaction, and shot back a quick retort, "Only if you're good." And just as quickly as the smile came, it left just as quickly to something much more serious. This was an important moment for both of them, one in which they would remember for the rest of their lives. And Harm didn't want to leave anything unsaid.

_**Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
**__**Let your heart be light  
**_**_From now on our troubles will be out of sight_**

He took her hand and eased it into his as he began, "I know I didn't ask the way I should have the last time at the airfield. I was afraid I would never see you again, and you were right. That's not a good enough to reason to ask or to say yes." He took a small pause then, almost like gathering his thoughts and trying to remember everything he planned to say here. To make it memorable.

_**Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
**_**_Make the yuletide gay_**  
_**From now on your troubles will be miles away**_

"But I'm asking again. Now. Not because I'm afraid I will never see you again. But because I want to see you every day of my life. I want to make you happy. I want to love you every day, hold you every day. I want to share my life with you. I want to have a family with you," Harm urged on, and again he stopped momentarily, his eyes gazing to hers, into her soul. So many instances did they look so deeply, so intimately. And this above all else proved to Mac how right they were for each other. No other man in her life could see so much, let alone be given access to it.

_**Once again as in olden days  
**__**Happy golden days o of yore**_

And while she considered this, Harm continued, "I want to watch our children graduate from high school, have grandchildren. To grow old with you." He then reached into his red coat pocket and took out the small felt box that would have burned a hole through his coat if he neglected to take it out any sooner. He lifted it to their eye level, both staring at it, and only then did he notice his ragged breathing and tight chest. To combat his rising nerves, he squeezed her hand and continued quickly, "We're good together, we belong together. We were meant for each other. And I really believe that. It explains all of our …"

_**Loving friends who dear near to us  
**__**Will be near to us once more**_

A weak smile crossed her lips and she hugged him, allowing her hands to drift up to the back of his head. Harm, the arrogant Naval aviator, the hero … nervous to ask her. And it was the same feeling that rose inside her heart, and the only way to get pass this was to ease the tension. So with that weak smile, Mac whispered into his ear, "You're rambling, Commander. Just ask me."

_**From now on we all will be together  
**__**If the fates allow **_

Harm immediately released a smile of his own, his heart falling to a normal rhythm as Mac pressed her cheek to his.

**_But till then we'll have to muddle through somehow_**

He broke contact only slightly, enough to urge Mac's eyes to the felt box he still held in between them. And perhaps with more bravery then he thought he had, and with a loving smile, he opened the top.

**_So have yourself a merry little Christmas now_**

Mac wrapped her hand around his hand that held the box tightly. The blue, twinkling lights sent color into the diamond that stared back at her. She looked up into his eyes, swam in the dark, blue pool of warmth and love. From this moment Mac knew her life would never be the same. She was no longer single, no longer alone. Big, decorated trees would characterize future Christmas', with toys underneath that took them all night to put together.

Holidays full of love …

"Please marry me," Harm whispered.

Mac ran the back of her hand along his cheek, his skin soft to her touch, tingling underneath her fingertips. And at this moment, she wanted nothing else. Maybe life would allow them to stay here, together. To live the life they both wanted, and, for the first time, wanted at the same time.

Because it was meant to be.

This was what they were waiting for.

With a small, sweet smile, Mac whispered in return, "Okay."

_**Through the years we all will be together  
**__**If the fates allow**_

To remember this moment, this day, this time, Mac knew she would always remember it as if she was looking in on it rather than living it. From a distance she saw Harm place the ring on her finger with a soft smile, his forehead leaning against hers, his arms encircling her waist. And somewhere in the midst of this, whether she was lost in Harm or her future, she neglected to hear the carols beginning to play on the stereo across the room. But that wasn't on her mind.

**_Hang a shining star upon the highest bow_**

In fact, all she wanted to do was pull Harm closer to her, feel his nose nuzzling her neck gently as he breathed in her wonderful scent. And as she ran her hands through his short hair, kissed him on the cheek, she melted in his arms.

And as the music continued, the night moved on …

In the glow from the window, from the moon, from the Christmas stars …

They danced as one.

**_And have yourself a merry little Christmas now _**

Fin (for now!)

_**Merry Christmas!**_

_**Happy New Year!**_

_**And May God bless you and yours this Holiday season**_


End file.
